Camping (locked to Joe, backdated to Sept 29th)

[echolls_cursed]

Seeing as how he and Neil had been fighting about damn near everything all week, Logan had been more than a little eager to go camping with Joe by the time Saturday morning rolled around. So eager, in fact, that he'd already been to the compound to find a sleeping bag in the clothes box (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle themed no less), and had packed his make-shift bag before Joe had even come to find him.

For once Logan was ahead of the game, knocking on Joe's door to see if he was ready.

God, he'd never thought he'd be so eager to stare at trees for nearly forty-something hours.

"Hey, you ready?" he asked, knocking once and then pushing the door open a crack. "I grabbed some food for us to take or whatever... so, uh, I'm ready to go when you are man."

Comments

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"It's like... I'm not enough or something," Logan said. "Or he doesn't need me. I mean, I believe that he loves me, wants me even... but he doesn't need me."

[jdick.livejournal.com]

Joe figured he could say the same thing about Dale if he thought about it, but he tried to ignore that as he listened to Logan. "You think you need him like that? Like you couldn't get along without him?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Well, yeah... But I guess I feel that way about most people I get close to. I'm, uh... co-dependent or whatever. A shrink told me that once, it was pretty much the only thing he got right," Loan snorted, thought it was obvious he was embarrassed by the confession.

"At the same time though, as much as I need him, I know I'd need anyone if I was with them. It's just how I am. When I fall for someone, that's it, man. I hang on until they push me away for good. Or, you know, die."

[jdick.livejournal.com]

"It's not just you, it's a lot of people," Joe answered, trying to somehow make Logan feel better when he noticed his embarrassment. "Doesn't mean it's good or healthy or any of that shit, but it is a lot of people. A lot of people want someone to need them as much as they need other people."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I know. It's really fucking things up though... I dunno how much longer he's gonna put up with my crap, Joe," Logan sighed. "Fuck, I don't even know how long I can keep just trying to ignore it."

[jdick.livejournal.com]

"So what're you gonna do?" Joe asked, figuring Logan would be willing to at least try to do something to keep Neil around. Change was hard, Joe knew, fucking impossible in some cases, but sometimes even making the attempt made people stick around when they otherwise would've left.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I don't know," Logan said awkwardly. "I don't think that's something about me that I can chane."

[jdick.livejournal.com]

"You tried?" Joe asked. "I mean, I'm not saying you're wrong, maybe you can't fucking change it, but it's probably worth a shot, eh? For Neil?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I've tried," Logan snapped, looking a little insulted. "You think I don't care enough about my own marriage to try?"

[jdick.livejournal.com]

"That's not what I'm saying and you fucking know it," Joe answered with a snort, grabbing onto a tree branch to haul himself up further. "I just asked if you tried."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Well it was a stupid question," Logan muttered, nearly dropping his bag as he scrambled to keep up. "Of course I tried, it just didn't work. I'm not like that, I can't just... get over things or whatever."

[jdick.livejournal.com]

"Oh, fuck you, Logan, it wasn't a stupid question," Joe snapped. "You bring it up to fucking fight with me or because you wanted to talk about it? Jesus."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I was just telling you to make conversation!" Logan snarled, throwing his bag down and sitting down on a nearby rock. "And it was a stupid question, you know I'd do anything I could to make things work with him. But I'm tired, and I'm sick of not being needed or wanted. So just fuck you, alright? Fuck you. Maybe you should have gone camping with someone else if you think I'm such a dick."

[jdick.livejournal.com]

"If I thought you were a dick, I'd tell you that you were a dick," Joe pointed out, not sounding particularly impressed when he turned around and watched Logan throw his bag down. "I think you're taking your shit with Neil out on me, but I don't think you're a dick. Well, not most of the fucking time, anyway."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Loan didn't say anything, he simply stared down at his feet. His lower lip stuck out slightly, almost sulking as his brow furrowed and he kicked at the dirt.

"Whatever," he mumbled eventually, the closest thing to an apology that Joe was likely to get. "I'm tired, and I just... need to be with you right now. Everything's kind of fucked up, and you're the only person who ever seems to make it feel okay."

[jdick.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, 'cause I'm the fucking expert," Joe agreed with a soft snort of laughter as he moved over to where Logan was sitting and sat down on the rock beside him. "I love you, man, but I think there's something wrong if I'm the one making it feel okay," he continued, nudging Logan's shoulder lightly with his own.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I don't even want to talk to him these days, Joe," Logan sighed. "I feel so much resentment or something. Like, he's off meeting new people and making friends, and I just can't. I mean, what happens when he meets someone better? Hell, what if he already has?"

[jdick.livejournal.com]

"The only way you're gonna feel any better about this is if you talk to him," Joe said honestly after a moment, frowning faintly. "I know you said you don't wanna, but there's not a hell of a lot you can do other than that, you know? Gonna drive you both fucking nuts otherwise."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I know... I know," Logan said, raking his fingers through his unruly hair. "I'm just not ready to deal with it, Joe."

[jdick.livejournal.com]

"The don't deal with it right now," Joe answered, still watching Logan. "We're going away for the weekend, right? Just... don't fucking worry about it for the next couple of days. Take a break."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan nodded a little, and after a moment he grabbed his bag and got to his feet with a sigh. "So, uh, how much further?" he asked, looking at Joe for a moment before looking away and into the distance.

[jdick.livejournal.com]

"Another half hour or so," Joe said, getting to his feet as well before he headed back up the mountain. "Not too far and it's kinda worth it."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Alright," Logan nodded, forcing himself to just relax and to try and enjoy the time he and Joe were going to be spending together. After all, he'd been looking forward to it.

"Lead the way, man."

[jdick.livejournal.com]

"You're probably the only person who'd trust me to lead 'em up the fucking mountain, man," Joe said with a soft snort. "Everyone else'd probably think I'd get them fucking lost or something."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I dunno, I bet Dale would follow you... though, uh, he could probably find the way home if you ot him lost," Logan said with a small smirk.

He was quiet for a bit after that, mulling over his thoughts before speaking up again. "You know, I didn't mean to give you a hard time about him when you guys got together for real... I guess I just thought maybe you wouldn't need me around anymore or something. I've only met him, like, once, but Dale seems like a good guy. ...He's been good for you so far at least."