(no subject)

[echolls_cursed]

In the end Logan had never made it back to the hut. At least not to stay. He had stepped inside just long enough to grab his board and wetsuit, and had headed off to the beach.

Maybe leaving your husband's birthday to go surfing wasn't the best thing to do- but there was only so much Logan could stand to watch. BetweenJack flirting with others and others flirting with Jack, Logan felt ill. Maybe it was how Jack was, and maybe it was something he'd eventually get over, but today wasn't that day. he didn't like watching Jack flirt with others, and if that made him a shitty husband... Well then jack could just find himself someone more willing to share.

Someone like that asshole who'd been practically drooling on him.

He spent an hour in the waves, and then eventually made his way to the compound to shower and dress. Time had passed, and he felt guilty now for leaving Jack at the party- But a little voice in his head assured him that Jack had likely had more fun without him anyway. It was easier to smile and charm people without your husband glaring after all.

Still, he needed to go home. He couldn't hide forever.

Comments

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"It doesn't feel that way sometimes," Logan said, letting his fingers slip inside the other man. "Sometimes it feels like I'm trying really hard to make you mine- and it's not working, because it doesn't always feel like you want me the same way," he confessed.

"I can't look at anyone else, but you can. That scares the shit out of me."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"You can look...I just get jealous," Jack moaned, wriggling on the bed. Logan's fingers made it hard for him to think, let alone speak, but this was important.

"Logan," he gasped. "Logan, stop. Talk...talk to me."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I don't want to look. And even if I did... No one is looking back," Logan said calmly, letting his fingers slip free.

He'd ruined the moment, but after these parties, Logan always felt insecure.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Do you want people to look at you?" Jack asked, propping himself up on his elbows. "Do you really?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I dunno," Logan replied honestly, wiping his fingers on the sheets and looking uncomfortable. "I just wish you could feel what I feel. I wish you could feel that sick sharp twist in your gut- that feeling of panic that you could be replaced."

He wet his lips and looked away.

"I was standing right there while that guy gawked at your ass. I was right there while you flirted with that girl. ...And you didn't even think about it. It didn't even occur to you that it might hurt me."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Who looked at my ass?" he asked, thinking hard about who he'd talked to. Only one came to mind.

"Oh. Yeah, he looks at everyone like that, I think. He probably looks at the sheep the same way," he snorted. "And Polly is just a girl. I didn't think it'd hurt you because she's...well, I guess she's eighteen, but I look at her and I think fifteen, you know?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Well that just makes it gross," Logan replied, giving Jack a look.

"Forget it, I didn't expect you to understand. I know you think I'm just being unfair- and I'm trying to get over it, but... Just nevermind."

Sighing, he flopped onto the bed beside Jack.

"I guess it's just something that's always gonna be there."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I wish it wasn't. What can I do? You always tell me you don't want me to change and you won't ask me to change...but Logan, I hate seeing you like this. I'll do anything to make you happy. You know that. But I- I like parties. It's fun and harmless and I enjoy the other people. I think you're right. This might always be something betweeen us."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Then I guess that's just how it is," Logan replied, his voice low and tight as he rolled onto his side.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack rolled to rest against Logan and he ran his fingers through his husband's hair while he pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

"You love me, right? Because I love you so much. I..."

His gut twisted and he ducked his chin. He knew what was right and then he knew what he wanted. What mattered the most, though, was...

"I won't look at anyone. I'll...I'll be the husband you want."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Jack, that isn't what I want. ...I love you, you don't have to change. I just know I can't change either."

He leaned back against Jack and closed his eyes. "You are the husband I want, okay? I just dunno how to fix this thing, and I hate that."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"This is hard, this marriage thing," he said quietly, wrapping his arm around Logan. He pulled the other man as close as he could get him but it just wasn't close enough.

"There has to be a way to fix this. What if...what if when there's a party, we stick together. You can kick me if I flirt and no one will come on to both of us." He paused and took a breath. "That would probably be hell for you, huh?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan closed his eyes, reaching back to hold onto Jack's hip.

"I don't want to stand around kicking you every time my feelings get hurt. I don't want to be some nagging wife. I think maybe I should just stop going to parties."

Except Logan knew that he'd just end up sitting around at home wishing Jack had stayed with him rather than rush off to flirt and dance with half the island. He'd become resentful and angry, and that would solve nothing.

"Maybe you can just retcon me every time there's a party," he suggested flatly.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Yes. That's a much better idea," he said dryly. "Because rather than work it out, I'll just erase the things that aren't easy between us. Come on, Logan. Really. What about if I had a time limit? These parties happen all the time. I could go for an hour and then we could go..."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I don't want to put a time limit on you," Logan sighed. "Can't you just control yourself a little? Maybe remind people you're married when they undress you with their eyes, or just tone down the flirting? You can be friends with people without making their panties wet."

He was quiet for a long moment and then rolled over to look at Jack.

"What if we made it a game? What if at every party, you had to win me over? What if you had to find a new way to get me to come home with you? You can still mingle, but if you want me to leave with you- you have to work for it."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack's lips were pressed against Logan's shoulder and his smile was so broad he knew Logan could feel it.

"I like your games," he said softly. "It's not as if everyone doesn't know that I'm all yours...but that would be fun. I do like seducing you. But what if I screw up? What then?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"If you screw up, I sleep in here. Alone," Logan replied simply. "Or at Joe's... Whichever."

He smiled a little, but he looked drained. Emotionally, he had been through a rough day. He was ready to simply call the day a loss.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"That's a pretty good incentive," Jack agreed, kissing Logan's shoulder one more time.

"Do you want to sleep alone tonight?' he asked hesitantly. "Did I fuck up that bad?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"No," Logan replied simply. "I dunno what I want, but I don't want to be alone. I fucked up too. I shouldn't have gone surfing, I'm sorry."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He peppered Logan's shoulders and neck with soft kisses and tightened his arm around him, too. Moving his hand until he found the other man's, he twined their fingers together.

"Apology accepted. I'm sorry, too. I really try not to flirt, you know. I don't flirt with Scotty. I didn't flirt with Robin. But I'm sorry. I'll really try not to do it at all. I just don't even notice, you know? I just have always done it. That doesn't make it right, though...and I hate that it hurts you."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Don't apologize, please just don't. I already feel like shit for ruining your day, don't make it worse. I should have stayed. I should have just drank until I didn't care about who was flirting with who. It's bad enough my own birthday is always a pile of shit- now I'm fucking up yours as well."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"You do realize it's not really my birthday, right?" Jack asked, ghosting his lips along the short hairs on the back of Logan's neck.

"It's okay, Logan. It's just a huge misunderstanding. It won't happen again, right? You'll stay, I'll seduce you, and we'll come home together like we always do. That's all that matters in the end. that we're together."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Jack's touch made him shiver, and Logan nodded a little as he pressed closer. When Jack touched him that way, it was too hard to argue.

"I love you," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to kill the mood. I'm such a fucking moron sometimes," he sighed, running his fingers down Jack's arm as he leaned in and kissed his shoulder before settling against him.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Moron," he teased, letting his hand roam to Logan's ass. "Now knock it off and keep touching me like that. We might find the mood again. And if not? I could sleep with you just like this. Close. I love having you close to me."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Honestly, Logan wasn't sure he was in the mood anymore. He wasn't sure he could fuck him when he fe3lt so shitty about how he had acted. However, he wanted to give Jack something worth having after giving him such a hard time.

The other man echoed his choice of words, and Logan shrank back slightly. He knew Jack didn't really think he was a moron, but in his current state it still bit into him a little, and he tried to tune it out as he did as Jack asked.

He touched the other man lightly, hoping that was what he wanted.