(dated friday - locked)

[echolls_cursed]

It was still raining. It felt like it was never going to stop. Like maybe it would just rain forever until everything washed away.

That suited Logan just fine at the moment. The heavy weather matched his mood, and though he didn't wish anyone harm or loss, he wouldn't have minded seeing the world flood. Their homes all floating away until nothing was where it belonged anymore. ...He'd never been a cheerful guy though, and really, none of that was new.

He was tense and angry, hurting in a way he didn't quite understand yet. Everything that mattered in his world was starting to disappear, and he couldn't help but wish he'd be next, if only so he wouldn't be left behind again. If only so he wouldn't have to suffer through losing someone like Joe or Anne next.

He'd been doing his best not to think about that stuff, but the rain made it hard. Cheerful thoughts were few and far between when the sky was so gray, and the black clouds seemed too loom over him in a way that he just couldn't ignore.

Still, it wasn't so cold inside the hut, and even in the dim light it was easy to let go a little as Linus sat beside him on the floor, pawing at the book he was trying to read.

The knock on the door was enough to snap him out of his thoughts, but rather than get up to answer it, he let out a heavy sigh before shouting, "Fuck off!"

Anyone who mattered wouldn't care. They'd walk right in anyway.

Comments

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

That was as good as 'come in' as far as Jack was concerned. He pushed the door open and stepped inside, water beading and running off the wool of his overcoat and pasting his dark hair to his face.

"Hey," he said quietly as he took his coat off. "Did'ja miss me?"

He flashed a bright smile and braced himself for yet another punch. Yet more yelling. He braced himself, and yet he kinda hoped Logan hadn't even noticed he'd been gone.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

There was a moment where it seemed like Logan was staring at a ghost, his mouth slightly open as he took Jack in.

It was gone in an instant though, his jaw setting as he slowly closed his book. Linus, the little traitor, was right over, sniffing and yipping, clearly pleased to see Jack again. His master, however, looked far from thrilled, and as he pulled himself to his feet he really did think he was going to take a swing.

Fist clenched, he slowly approached the other man, not stopping until they were inches apart. "You son of a bitch," he growled, shoving Jack back hard and then holding on so he couldn't go too far. Torn between keeping him near and tossing him back out into the rain.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Okay, so...he'd noticed. Jack took a step back but since he didn't go far, he kept his back straight and shoulders squared.

"Guess not," he murmured. "It's been a few days, I heard."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"A few days," Logan laughed, the sound bitter and harsh, catching in his throat as he met Jack's eyes with his own.

"Yeah, a few days," he said, still holding on tightly.

"I thought you were gone. I thought you'd vanished. Then, when I realized that wasn't it? I spent the next few days convinced they were going to find your fucking corpse in the woods. Just a few days though, no big deal."

His voice was calm, but the anger was bubbling up, and Logan snapped before he could stop himself, swinging hard.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

His head twisted with the force of it and he had to step back just to stay upright, although he swayed before he could shake it off. Jack reached up and cupped his jaw, looking at Logan without so much as a hint of anger.

"Yeah, okay. I deserved that," he said. "Look, if it makes any difference, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to get swallowed by the TARDIS, and if things had kept going the way they were, there wouldn't have been a corpse to find. She's...it's hard to explain."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I don't care," Logan replied, the words meant to be harsh, but coming off more childish than anything else. "I don't care. You left. You vanished, right after you said you wouldn't. Right after you said you'd be here. I lost Donald, and then I lost you. And I didn't know who to talk to or who to ask. I didn't know if you'd just fucked off or if you were never coming back... So fuck you! Seriously, Jack, fuck you!"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Logan, I'm sorry," he said again. One step forward and then he reached out and caught him by the arm. "I came back. I always come back. If I'd thought for a second that something was going to happen to me, I'd have told someone or left a note. I'm sorry."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

He nearly jerked away, it was what his gut was telling him to. It was telling him to end this, to tell Jack to leave, to get the other man out of his life for good.

...But he didn't.

Instead Logan went still, his face falling as he looked at the other man again.

"You could have told someone where you were going," he insisted, though most of the anger was gone, leaving behind a wave of relief.

"I don't forgive you," he added.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I didn't expect you to. It was supposed to be a half hour. Hour, tops. But the empathic systems are online and she's alive now, basically. I looked into her heart and walked into her core. I thought it had maybe been a day."

He took another step closer and rested his hands on Logan's waist. Ducking his chin, Jack leaned closer and his voice dropped lower.

"What'll it take to get you to forgive me?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Dunno," Logan said honestly, letting Jack hold him, but not quite returning the gesture. Instead his hands rested on Jack's arms, ready to pull him closer of push him away completely at ny moment.

"I could go take a hike in Dino-land. See how you like it. Just up and vanish one morning. Maybe get myself killed. That might make me feel better, knowing you were worried. Though I honestly don't know if you care enough to actually give a damn what I do. ...Or maybe just beat the shit out of you. Less karmic, but just as rewarding."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I'd be worried," he assured him, his stomach tightening at the very thought of yet another person vanishing, and he didn't even want to consider Logan and a dinosaur. He'd had a lifetime's worth of that when Gwen had been attacked and he'd opened a vein for her.

Jack leaned in and kissed him lightly, then took a step back. He held his arms low and open, inviting the guy with just his body.

"You want to beat the shit out of me...go ahead."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan turned away from the kiss, though part of him wanted to return it, to just forgive and forget and move on.

As Jack spread his arms, Logan's mind searched for the one thing that would hurt the most. Something that might make Jack feel the way he'd felt all week. Except Logan's fears were different than most peoples fears, his ideas of punishment and pain unlike most. It was the sort of thing that made him conscious of just how wrong he was inside. The sort of thought that reminded him of who he was and how deeply screwed up he could be. Because when he searched for something brutal, his mind only came up with one thing.

His own biggest fear.

"Take off your shirt," he said simply.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack arched a brow and tilted his head, but he unbuttoned his shirt and laid it aside, then peeled off the undershirt. He wasn't going to back out now...his offer had been genuine.

"Now what?" he asked, standing in the darkened room in jeans and boots with gooseflesh rising on his arms as the chill of the day collided with his skin.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan couldn't help but look, his eyes drifting over bare skin, and then darting away as he looked down at his hands.

"Give me your belt," he said, his voice oddly soft and low.

Something inside him twisted sharply, letting him know just how wrong it all was. But Jack wasn't saying no, and Jack wasn't walking away, and Logan wasn't sure he could stop unless the other man told him to.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

The buckle clinked softly as he undid it and pulled his belt free, the leather sliding across denim with a soft hiss.

"Not around my neck," he said as he held it out for Logan, folded in half. He hadn't quite expected this sort of retribution, but considering it was Logan, he wasn't all that surprised.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan's hands shook slightly as he took it, silently begging Jack to speak up again. To tell him no. To leave. To kiss him again. Anything.

Nothing happened though, and the belt was heavy in his hand as he started to circle the other man.

He was there, and he was alive. He'd come back, and Logan wanted to be happy, but all he could think about was how he'd felt while Jack was gone. How much he hated knowing that the other man really was part of his life now.

Moving to stand behind him, Logan held the belt the same way he'd seen Aaron hold it a thousand times. Smacking it against his palm once, and then raising his arm and letting it fall across Jack's back.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack folded his hands and let them hang loosely. The warning sound of the belt against Logan's palm ensured that when the leather lashed his back, he didn't flinch. He breathed slow and deep, the sharp sting melting into a slow burn.

It had been a long time since he'd been whipped like this, but he'd fucked up and he knew it--even if he hadn't meant to--and he's resolved to make amends however he had to. He'd decided that before he'd even stepped out of the TARDIS.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

The sound made Logan flinch, even though for once he was on the other side.

There was a rush of power that came with it though, and he wondered briefly if that was what had made it so easy for his father. If that had been the point.

Bringing it down again, he watched the way Jack's skin turned white, then pink. The next blow was harder, painting a bright red stripe across his shoulders, and the next hard enough that there would be a welt.

From there it only got worse, dark red lines crisscrossing and breaking skin.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

There was nothing Logan could do that couldn't be undone with a short trip to the clinic. That was the reason Jack walked around almost everyday without a bruise or a mark on him, despite the Time Agency's Finest's best efforts to tear each other apart on nearly a nightly basis.

Jack's breathing became slower and the sound of each strike was dull in his ears. He stopped counting after twelve, the pain by then spread across his back, one expansive blurred burn cut rhythmically with a sharp bite. He didn't cry out, didn't fucking move. He stood in place and disconnected from the pain, disconnected from his body, disconnected from nearly everything. He could smell the rain and hear Linus whining at the door and so he focused on those rather than leather and skin and the closest thing Jack ever got to feeling something like regret.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan didn't stop until his arm began to ache, swinging and swinging until he just... Stopped.

The belt feel to the floor with a heavy sound, and Logan stared at the mess he'd made in silence. He'd been hoping for relief, to find forgiveness or even just spiteful revenge so he could call it even. He felt none of those things though. Just guilt and a pang of regret.

Still, despite the heavy feeling in his gut, there was something about it that made it easier to deal. Made it easier to accept that Jack was there. That he was back, and he was sorry... and that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't happen again.

Stepping closer, Logan bent over slightly, ducking his head and resting his forehead between the other man's shoulders. His hands came to rest lightly on Jack's arms, and he let out a deep breath as he pressed one soft kiss to the back of the other man's neck and let go.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

One more deep breath and Jack lifted his chin. He could tell it was bad just from how much control it took to stand still and take it. Now that it was done, though, his arms and legs felt weak and shaky as he swallowed and tried to continue ignoring the pain.

After an eternity, Jack turned and bent over to retrieve his belt and fed the sticky, wet leather through his belt loops. His hands shook too hard to try to buckle it, so he abandoned the thought of doing it up.

"Okay," he whispered, getting a grip as the endorphins flooded his system. "..Okay. Yeah..."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan didn't say anything, he simply watched, pulling away when he decided Jack probably didn't want him touching him.

Heading over to the shelf, he picked up the small container of water and one of the towels that sat folded with the rest of the laundry.

"You should let me clean you up before you go," he said, wondering if Jack would ever come back after that.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, okay," he agreed in the same soft, breathless voice. He looked around and went to a chair, spinning it around so he could straddle it when he sat, thinking that this would have been a hell of a lot easier than having to stand there. He folded his arms across the back and rested his head on them and waited.

"You okay?" he asked when he heard Logan move.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Am I okay? I'm not the one who's bleeding," Logan replied, wetting the towel as he spoke.

Carefully he started to wash the other man's back, the blood soaking into the towel as he patted him down slowly.

"This... It looks really bad Jack, maybe you should go to the clinic. If they ask what happened, you can just tell them one of the guys you sometimes fuck is a psycho. Few days in lockup might do me some good," he muttered, though he wasn't joking.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I'll just snatch the nanos and take them in the bathroom like I always do after John's done," he said, hissing through gritted teeth at the sting of plain water. "You don't need locked up. No one even needs to know. I'm good with secrets. Don't worry about it."

Jack turned his head to look at Logan over his shoulder. He smiled softly and licked his lips before he asked again, "Are you okay? That was a hell of a lot more intimate than a fist fight."