Follow me, don’t follow me. (open to friends only)

[echolls_cursed]

Logan's head had stopped pounding less then a day after the accident. He'd taken a hard hit, but he was alright, and other then a small cut and a bruise that was turning a pleasant shade of purple, Logan wasn't looking much worse the wear. He was sleeping a lot though, more then usual even, but he wasn't sure he could blame the bump for that. No, sometimes Logan just didn't like getting out of bed.

For the last hour or so though, he hadn't really been sleeping, just sort of drifting in and out. One minute he was awake and almost ready to get up, and the next he'd roll onto his side and find that perfectly warm spot on the bed... the one that made it all too easily to let his eyes drift shut again. Neil was out, probably walking Max, so there was no one nagging him, no one to tell him to stop being lazy and to go eat something. It was nice, and Logan planned on enjoying it just a little longer.

He'd found that spot again, and he was just about to settle back in for at least another ten minutes of lazing about... when someone said his name.

No, not just someone.

Logan would have recognized that voice anywhere, anytime. He new what it sounded like on film and on the phone, and he knew what it sounded like when the older man was there. Logan knew Aaron Echoll's voice better then anyone else's.

Eyes snapping open, Logan sat up almost instantly, his body tense as he listened. Maybe he'd imagined it... maybe it had been a dream,

But no, there it was again.

"Logan?"

Getting to his feet, Logan slowly walked to the door, peering around it with a worried look. His chest was tight and he was pretty sure he was sweating, but he made sure not to let anything show on his face as he headed outside and looked around. Making his way around to the back of the hut, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. "Dad?" he said quietly, unsure and uneasy.

And there he was, Aaron Echolls, not a foot away. He had that look on his face, angry and pinched so tight the the lines in his face seemed deeper then usual. He took a step closer and Logan instantly took a step back, right onto someone's foot.

(Aaron isn't really there, you can't see him or hear him. >_> Open to friends only.)

Comments

[little_moons]

"Like what?" I ask, reaching up and touching the side of his face lightly with my fingertips.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Like you aren't sure if you believe me or not," Logan replied.

[little_moons]

"I believe you," I say, and it's not a lie. Not really. It's tough, after everything, to still trust him, but I do it anyway. Maybe that means I'm stupid or maybe it means I'm just as fucked up as he is or maybe it just means I really love him and I want us to work. Whatever the reason, I believe him. I kind of have to.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan nodded and sighed. "Sometimes... Sometimes I just feel like I owe him or something. I know he says I don't, but I feel like I do. Like he's giving me more then I can give back," he admitted.

[little_moons]

"You don't owe him anything, Logan," I sigh, sliding off his lap and into my chair but making sure to stay close, my arms still wrapped loosely around him, "I don't- I may be shit with this kinda stuff, but he loves you. You're his family. I can see that much. You don't have to fuck him to even things up between you two. That's not what he wants, you know?"

It's hard, 'cause I'm not even half as close with Joe, but I sorta get what Logan means. It's hard for me to be around a guy like Joe... like Billy or Cutter or Chris or any of 'em... it's still sorta hard for me to understand why they'd even talk to me if they don't want to fuck me. After years of thinkin' that way, it's a hard habit to break.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I know... okay, I know that. I just... whatever. It's hard to think of him like family. My family... sucked. And Joe is... He so much better then that shit. He's not like them," Logan tried to explain.

[little_moons]

"I know he's not. I know, but he's still your family, even if he's not like them. More than they ever were, you know?" I say, giving him a small and careful smile. Half the time I'm not sure how he's gonna react when we're talking 'bout this shit.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"He said that," Logan replied. "...Said I was like his kid."

[little_moons]

"You don't want to be?" I ask curiously, my thumb brushing back and forth over the skin just above the collar of his shirt.

I already figured Joe thought of him that way, they joke about it enough, and I could always tell it was more than just fucking around.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I didn't say that," Logan said quickly. "i do... I do think of him like, you know, a father. Just... it's hard sometimes."

[little_moons]

"'Cause he's not like him," I repeat, and it's not a question. Joe'd never fuck Logan over the way Aaron did.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Nothing like him," Logan agreed quietly.

[little_moons]

"Good," I say, reaching up and resting my hand against the curve of his jaw, "I don't know what it's like... My dad could've been anyone, you know? But I know that you're better off with someone like Joe than you ever where with that fucking asshole..."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

When Neil said things like that, it always left Logan feeling guilty. Selfish for being so self absorbed and rotten for not wanting to share Joe.

It was a sharp reminder that Neil's life had probably been worse.

Turning his head away, Logan got to his feet.

"Yeah, I guess, whatever."

[little_moons]

I let my hands fall to my lap, looking down at them so he won't see the quick little flash of hurt that crosses my face when he pulls away like that. "Yeah, whatever," I mumble, arms folding over my chest as I stand and take a step away from him.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Let's just... let's go home. I'm still tired," Logan decided.

[little_moons]

"Okay, fine," I sigh, brushing past him and heading toward the door. I'm not sulking or pouting or even really pissed off, but if he's gonna pull away then I'm not gonna stand here fucking fawning over him or whatever.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan slumped against the door frame a little when Neil stormed past, but he didn't say anything. It wasn't like he knew what the hell to say. Taking a deep breath, he followed, his hands deep in his pockets as he walked.

[little_moons]

"So, what the fuck did I say to piss you off? That you're better off without 'im? You know I'm right," I say, looking back over my shoulder but not meeting his eyes.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"You didn't say anything," Logan snapped, shooting Neil a glare. "Not everything is about you, believe it or not. The world doesn't revolve around Neil-fucking-McCormick."

Which was, you know, true, but not really applicable in this case. Guilt was easy enough to twist into anger and resentment though. And Logan liked anger. Anger was easy.

[little_moons]

"No, of course it fucking doesn't since apparently everything revolves around you," I seethe, bursting out the compound doors and storming outside. Yeah, real fucking dramatic.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Jesus Christ, Neil, what is your damn proplem? Why the hell did you storm off in the first place? What did I do?" Logan asked, following with a frown.

[little_moons]

"I didn't storm off! You're the one that pulled away first, and I was just- I don't know. Whatever, just forget it," I say, drawing in a deep breath and turning my face away.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I pulled away because... because I know I'm being a dick," Logan said, his voice fading out as he spoke. "I know my life wasn't as bad as yours, and... I feel like a dick anytime I talk about it to you. 'Cause what do I know, right? I mean, at least I had a dad. At least no one ever... took advantage."

[little_moons]

I spin on my heel, turning to look at him with my face all pinched up in disbelief, "I never wanted your fucking pity, Logan. I don't want to play the who's more fucked up game with you. We're both fucked up and we both had shit happen to us. Don't fucking- Don't pull away from me 'cause of that shit. Don't think you can't talk to me about it. I need you to, okay? I need you to talk to me."

And yeah, maybe I've learned to be careful what I say to him about my life... maybe I know not to bring that shit up anymore, but it doesn't mean I want him to do the same.