echolls_cursed | for Jack

Logan wasn't sure how he felt about Jack licking his feet, but he got the idea.

"So- what, you want me to be in charge or whatever?" he asked, trying to sound casual and failing.

He wasn't sure why, but it was always awkward when Jack asked for it. Logan had no issue with taking control, they both knew he'd fight for the upper hand given half the chance, but when Jack asked... When Jack asked he felt like the other man would be judging him. Like he might not be as good as Jack expected.

"Sometimes. It's good. You're so good," Jack replied, tasting the salt from Logan's skin. It took him a second to catch the tone of Logan's voice and then he pulled away so he could blink the sleep from his eyes and look at his husband. Jack was struck by just how beautiful he was.

"I like everything we do. All the games we play. It was just a dream. I hardly ever dream like that so I remembered. I like dreaming about you."

Considering how many of his dreams weren't good, dreaming of Logan was a relief.

"Whatever," Logan said again. "I wasn't saying no or whatever. I was just asking."

Except he still looked a little awkward and unsure of himself.

He did his best to hide it by leaning in to kiss Jack again, trying to be firm, but catching himself hesitating slightly.

He didn't want to, but he thought about John. Something told him that Jack never had to tell John to take over. The thought made him frown, and he bit Jack's bottom lip hard enough to sting, as if somehow it was Jack's fault that his mind had gone there.

Jack yelped and backed away fast from the pain. He licked his lip, surprised that Logan had bitten him that way. It startled him just enough that he quit squirming and his hands stilled.

"Careful," he said, then leaned in to kiss Logan again, unaware of anything going on in Logan's head.

Logan dodged the kiss and scowled.

"Right, because you love careful," he muttered, leaning in and nipping at Jack's bottom lip again, despite the fact that it was already stinging.

"I bet you wish I was like him in bed," he growled, giving Jack a shove and getting out of bed.

He stomped over to Jack's trunk, something he never touched but still knew nearly the entire contents of. He opened it before Jack could stop him and pulled out the pair of guns. John's guns.

"Why don't you jerk off on those instead," he snarled. "Bet it wouldn't be the first time you licked them clean."

It was irrational and cruel, but Logan couldn't seem to stop himself. He'd always be jealous and rash, and he'd always have a temper. It was just who he was.

He wasn't sure what he'd said or what he'd done and confusion was painted across his face. He'd sat up and watched Logan, trying to puzzle out what him he meant. The guns made it obvious.

"What the fuck..." he said as he got up out of bed. "What are you talking about? What are you thinking? Put those back." He reached for the guns, knowing they weren't loaded and weren't dangerous...but they were still guns and demanded respect.

Logan held them out of reach, and he didn't back down.

"That's why you let him live with you when he turned up here, right? Because you wanted him."

"That was years ago, Logan. What...I mean...what?" he said, still confused but slightly reassured that he hadn't really done anything to prompt this level of a reaction.

"Put the guns back," he said sharply. "You're being an idiot. I don't even know what you're talking about."

"What, am I not allowed to touch them? They sacred or something, Jack?" Logan challenged, moving past irrational anger and right onto picking a fight.

"Fuck you," he spat, glaring hatefully at the younger man. His eyes were dark and brow pinched.

Logan picked the most random times and random things to fight about.

"Put them back. I don't dig through your things," he said as his hands clenched into fists and the muscles in his arms flexed rock hard.

"Funny, I thought they were all our things now," Logan replied dryly, dropping the guns on the bed and turning away.

If Jack had put any thought into it at all, he would have taken a deep breath and a step back. But he didn't think, he never did. He just drew back and punched Logan as hard as he could in the younger man's shoulder while he wasn't even facing Jack.

"Shut up," he snarled, reaching to grab Logan's hair and jerk him back so he couldn't leave. "What do you want? You want to know about John? You want to know all about why I kept you away from him? Why are you so curious all of a sudden? Sick of games? Want it to be real?"

Logan swore loudly. The punch had been unexpected, almost as unexpected as the feeling of Jack's fingers tangling in his hair.

"Get off me!" the younger man snapped, throwing his elbow back as he tried to jerk away.

"I just hate living in his damn shadow, alright? You don't need to tell me about him. I met him, remember?" he snarled, trying to free himself from Jack's hold so he could leave.

"Why him? Not House. Not the Doctor. It always goes back to him..."

He held Logan's hair and grabbed his arm to jerk him around. Just to be a dick, he kicked Logan the way the younger man always seemed to like to kick him.

"...am I in fucking Neil's shadow?" he asked, a cruel note to his voice. "Whose shadow am I in, Logan? Who should I worry about?"

Logan hissed and swung hard, his fist slamming into Jack's shoulder.

Jack knew they'd fought about the others just as much. John was just different. John lingered.

He jerked free from Jack's hold, and narrowed his eyes. "You're not in anyone's shadow and you fucking know it, but sometimes I am. When we're in bed and that's what you want, I am, alright? So just- Just fuck off."

He shoved Jack and sat down on the mattress, staring down at the floor.

He knew he was over reacting, that he'd been looking for a fight, but he couldn't admit that now. Not without pissing Jack off even more.

"No. You're really not," Jack said, hate and hurt in his voice. He stalked over, grabbed some pants that fit, and started to jerk them on.

"You never have been. I know you think I'm a slut and I compare you to everyone else, but I don't. I haven't even thought about John in...I don't even know how long. But you have to throw my past in my face. I can't change it Logan."

He didn't bother with a shirt. He just glared at Logan on the bed. He knew what people thought of him. Less now since so many had vanished, but some would never, ever let him move beyond what he had been. He'd grown up so much...or so he thought. Maybe he hadn't changed.

Logan was silent for a long moment, and then swallowed hard.

"I don't think that," he said quietly. "I don't, okay? I was just- I was just uncomfortable, and it's easier to pick a fight than admit I'm not always capable of what you want, okay? You're not a slut, I'm just a fucking coward sometimes, alright?"

He rubbed his face and sighed.

"I'm sorry. Just- Just don't go, alright? I'll put the guns back."

"You're an asshole, sometimes," Jack replied. He clenched his fist and all his knuckles popped, but despite being angry he stayed where he was. He didn't leave.

He'd grown up enough that he didn't run away anymore.

"It was just a dream, Logan. A stupid fantasy. I'm not asking you to do anything you don't want to," he said.

"It's not about not wanting to, alright? It's- Fuck it, forget it. It's stupid."

He flopped onto his back and sighed. "I thought I'd be good at this shit by now. I thought I was getting better at just- all of it."

He'd been hopeful that he was a better husband these days, but sometimes it was hard not to feel like things were the same as they ever where. That he was the same as ever.

"Shit was so much easier when we just beat the shit out of each other instead of talking about it."

The sight of Logan stretched out on the bed did wonders to make his anger fade away. Bare skin, long limbs, the ridges and valleys of muscle. Jack wet his lips and realized there was no way he could hold on to being pissed.

It wasn't fair. He used to...No, he thought. He never used to stay mad at Logan. They'd fight and then it was over. He never carried any anger away after a fight.

His eyes darted to the guns, though. He slowly walked over and picked them up so he could put them away.

"I thought we were supposed to talk, being married and all. We can't solve everything by fighting or fucking, right?" Jack said quietly. "We're...adults."

"Fuck being adults," Logan replied simply, ever the beacon of maturity and wisdom.

That made him laugh in spite of himself. Jack put the guns back in the trunk and thought that they were just two more that he'd turn over to the IPD when the time came. Because he was an adult.

"You're unbelievable," he said, still chuckling a little. He wandered back to the bad to stand over the other man and drink in the sight of him.

Logan folded his arms behind his head and looked up at Jack.

"Sorry I punched you or whatever. I guess at least this time you don't have a broken nose."

A shadow crossed his face. Now that Logan had brought up John, had presented him with the guns, the memory of coming home stoned only to be greeted by John's fist, the solid force of it breaking his nose with a sickening crunch, just the memory made his stomach turn.

"It's okay," he replied. "...We're never going to stop this, are we?"

He paused.

"We can't fight like this around the baby."

He was more worried about fighting than he was about sex. Sex was...natural.

"It's part of us, Jack. It''s not like we can just switch it off. We just need to be less- intense. Maybe be more careful about when and where we throw our punches. ...But we're never gonna stop fighting, man. It's part of what makes this work."

He sat up and reached for the other man.

"I don't wanna talk about the baby anymore today. We spend all our time talking about the kid- we should enjoy us while we can, right? So, no babies, no ex-whatevers. Tell me what you want to do. Name it, I wont flip out this time, okay? I swear it."

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