echolls_cursed | NYE post midnight

Jack looked good on his hands and knees- and the fact that his first thought upon seeing his husband was sexual filled him with guilt.

"I needed clean clothes," he said quietly. "I can go back out if you need more time. I just ran out of stuff to do."

Sugar hopped around at his feet, and he reached down to stroke the white ball of fluff. Logan looked like a kicked puppy, and he sat down hard on the floor.

"I don't need more time. I didn't need this long, even," he said simply, moving over to Logan and reaching down to stroke his hair.

"I'm sorry," he added in a soft, calm voice. "I...I over reacted. It wasn't right to come down on you like that."

"You didn't over react," Logan replied softly. "I'm just a dick sometimes. ...I didn't mean to be this time though. I'd never hurt you like that on purpose. I love you, more than anything."

Jack hunkered down next to Logan since the younger man didn't rise. He leaned in slowly, minding his balance, and wrapped an arm around Logan's shoulders.

"I know. I love you, too," he whispered. "Come on...get up. Let's at least go sit by the fire."

He gave Logan a tug and then got to his feet again. Sugar was being a nuisance and so he walked away from his husband just so he could feed her. Hopefully a full belly would calm her down. At the sound of food hitting the dish, Linus came over, too.

It felt cold when Jack walked away, and Logan watched as Linus trotted over to get his share of the food before he finally got up and on his feet.

He shrugged his coat off and kicked off his shoes. Curling up on the sofa, huddled in the corner., he turned his head to watch Jack, studying the other man with pure love and desire.

The guilt lingered though, and after a moment he looked away. As if he didn't deserve to look.

Edited 2010-01-03 00:27 (UTC)

Jack joined him, sitting in the middle with what seemed to be a huge distance between them. But then he twisted and drew his legs up, then leaned back against Logan. Reaching back, he moved the man's legs enough that he could use his thigh for a pillow and look up at him.

"I was thinking while you were gone," he started, then paused to lick his lips.

"I've kept so many secrets for so long that it's a hard habit to break. And the ones that actually mean something to me are the ones I keeps closest. I don't want to share this with other people- the things we do. This, just laying here. Sex. The way we sleep. But...but maybe if people knew some of it...maybe people would see that this is a good thing," Jack said slowly, like he honestly wasn't sure if he was right.

"They don't need to know why this is a good thing," Logan said softly, stroking Jack's hair as he spoke. "It's not theirs. It's none of their business if it's bad of good."

He looked down at Jack for a moment, and then tipped his head back as he closed his eyes and continued to pet and touch the other man, his fingers toying with soft hair.

"I spoke with house, at the party. I was trying to convince him we should move on and just get over our differences- and somehow we ended up talking about me being in the clinic, and why it was so fucked up of him to convince me you were... You know. And I told him. I told him why it hurt, and how he of all people should have known how fucked up it was... And he told me he couldn't understand how I could play these games with you. I wanted to explain it to him so bad. Just to have someone understand. Really understand. I wanted to tell him how amazing it feels to know I can trust you. How it feels to hurt and still know I'm loved. That somehow when we play, it makes everything so clear in my head. For a while I thought it was just some weird fetish, but it's not. Because if it was, I could do it with anyone... but I can't. It's just you. You're special. You're everything.

I didn't tell him that though. I just told him I'd be more careful so he wouldn't have to see again."

"He'd never understand something like that. He's in so much pain all the time, he can't see how it could ever feel good," Jack replied. "I don't know that there are many people who do understand. How it...makes things clear. How it cuts through everything and can feel good."

He paused and closed his eyes so he could simply enjoy the feeling of Logan's fingers in his hair.

"He never hurt me. I practically had to force him just to get him to scratch. It's not his fault that there were things he just couldn't give me. Wasn't capable of giving me." He swallowed audibly. "I'm sure you don't want to hear about it...but maybe you need to know. I've slept with a lot of people, Logan. I've always given them what they need. You're one of the few, and the only one on this island, who has ever given me what I need."

A single, slow breath broke his words.

"Thank you."

Logan said nothing in return, he simply continued to stroke jack's hair, and moved a little so h could drape his arm over the other man's chest.

It was easy to simply sit there, touching the other man. Bothing sexual, just soft touches. Tender touches. the sort he usually only indulged in after a hard day or a rough night.

It had been a rough night for them both, after all.

"I'll always give you what you need. I love you. I'll give you everything I can."

Jack opened his eyes and looked up at Logan. All the sadness was gone, all the hurt evaporated.

"I know," he said with certainty. "Same goes for me. I know you hate it when I take care of you, or you say you do, but I always will. I can't not. I don't know if I could even try to quit."

"I- I like it," Logan said, struggling to spit it out. "I like when you look after me, when you take care of me- and you have no idea how hard it is to say that. I love when you tend to me. I love it. Love you. You once said you were gonna keep me as a pet all weekend. We didn't do it, you just put me in the cage and fucked me, but part of me wanted it. Part of me wanted you to keep me. ...I just couldn't admit it. I can't believe I'm admitting it now."

He'd had a feeling, but he hadn't known to what extent. He'd had a feeling that Logan might tolerate it for a day or so, but all weekend, he'd thought, was out of the question.

"I don't know if I could actually do that," he finally said, grinning a little. "I like it too much when you fight back. And keeping you for days...I think it'd be hard. I think it'd be hard for both of us. A day, maybe, but more than that? One of us would crack."

"You think?" Logan asked, still stroking Jack's hair as he spoke. "Yeah, probably. I was just... Nevermind."

He went quiet again after that, scratching Jack's scalp softly and then moving to gently touch his neck.

"What do you want to do today?" he asked after a moment. "It's a new year, our first new year as a married couple."

"I don't know. If we were anywhere else I'd say go watch fireworks or sports or temple ceremonies, but there's nothing like that here. The new year's just kind of like the old year, except with a kiss at midnight."

And kissing at midnight happened often enough between them by chance that he didn't put much stock in the idea of one kiss bringing love and luck any more than any other kiss.

"What do you want to do? With you playing with my hair, I can't really think of anything I'd rather do than lay here with you touching me."

Logan couldn't help but be a little insulted.

"Right, because a kiss at midnight with me is stupid and boring," he muttered. "You're a real dick sometimes Jack. Get off me," he huffed, shoving at the other man.

"I'll try and be more exciting in the future. I'll build you a fucking temple next time."

Jack stayed in place.

"You really just hear what you want, don't you?" he asked, his arm snaking up around Logan's neck. He held on tightly and pulled, using it to lift himself off Logan's lap, even as he pulled the younger man down. Their mouths met in the middle and he kissed Logan clumsily from the odd angle.

"Your kisses are never boring," he whispered. "And I don't want anything this year that I didn't already get last year."

Logan returned the kiss slowly, still unsure but slowly giving in to Jack's words and Jack's lips.

"Alright," Logan replied with a sigh. "Seriously though, sit up a bit, my leg's falling asleep," he insisted, tapping Jack's cheek gently. "Let's go lay down upstairs. Or, I dunno, we could go enjoy our secret hut-castle before it vanishes... Or, I dunno. Anything."

"Mmm...we could," Jack agreed, reluctantly getting up from Logan's lap. "We could take everything we'd need for a few days. The snow's got to be vanishing soon. It always does. I could beg off work and we could just go."

Getting to his feet, Jack held out his hands to help pull Logan up.

"I could keep you," he said. "If we stayed a few days...I could try. It might work."

Logan let Jack pull him to his feet, and he caught the other man's face in his hands as he leaned in and gave him a kiss.

"You don't have to do that," he assured the other man. "We don't have to do anything if you'd rather do nothing. I was just making suggestions."

"You kiss me like that and 'nothing' is the last thing on my mind," he purred, winding an arm around Logan's waist and dropping his hand to his ass.

"I think you should make it up to me, passing out like you did last night. You're lucky I didn't jerk off in your hair," Jack teased, pulling Logan along as he started for the stairs that lead to their bedroom.

Logan laughed a little, letting Jack pull him along and hanging on lightly to the other man.

"Fine, baby, you can have whatever you want. I'll make it up to you. You just tell me what you want," he grinned, kissing Jack playfully and grinning. "...On one condition. I want you to strip for me first. I want you to put on a real show. ...Then I'll do anything you want."

"Strip for you?" he asked skeptically. He'd gotten very good at it working at the club, but he'd stopped months ago. He'd quickly lost interest. But if Logan wanted it, he wasn't going to say no. He sat the man on the edge of the bed and stepped back, looking at him intently.

"You really want me to put on a show?" he asked, thumbing the button of his jeans open before running his hand down over his fly. The other came up to start undoing the buttons of his plain blue shirt that he'd put on over a t-shirt.

Grinning again, Logan nodded, leaning back and smiling as he watched the other man slowly undress. He was perfect, and Logan wet his lips as he smiled and started to grope himself lightly through his jeans.

"You're good at this," he said.

"I'm good at everything," he replied, wearing a cocky smile that was eerily like the one he saw on Logan's face so often. Jack moved to a beat only he could hear, writhing and gyrating as his clothes came off slowly. Shoes and socks, button down shirt and jeans, undershirt and the rare instance of boxer shorts. It was always obvious when Jack had spent any time in the snow- he added that extra layer.

After dancing around, teasing Logan at every opportunity, he was finally naked. He was enjoying watching the way Logan touched himself in response to the show as much as he liked the feeling of his husband's eyes on him.

"Like that?"

On anyone else, that cocky look would have been annoying, but on Jack it was hot.

Reaching out, he took hold of Jack's hips and dragged him closer, pulling him down onto his lap. "I love it. Love you. Now tell me what you want. Tell me how I can make up for last night."

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