echolls_cursed | (no subject)

"It's okay," he assured Logan, smoothing his hand through the younger man's hair. He was keenly aware that people were drawn to him. That he was handsome. That he was charming. He used it to his advantage most of the time, though he'd gotten better at not stringing people along or using them.

But the way Logan said it...it made him nervous.

"Do you...want people to be interested in you?" he asked, swallowing hard. "Because you can be charming as hell when you want to be. I think if you really wanted someone, you could...you know. If you want..."

He swallowed again, his breathing hitching and labored.

"Fuck that. I don't want anyone else to want you," he said sharply. So much for some sort of open relationship altruism. His true colors showed.

Jack's tone was jarring, and Logan drew back slightly, his movements calm and steady. Like an animal that had learned how to avoid becoming pray a long time ago.

"I don't want anyone else, Jack- Sometimes it's just hard to feel good about anything when I'm comparing myself to you. And maybe, just once, it would be nice if you were the one with a reason to be jealous, If you were the one watching other people want me. ....That's not gonna happen though. There's never gonna be anyone who wants me who doesn't want you more.

And that's fine. I just.... forget it. Nevermind."

It didn't even feel like they were talking about the same thing anymore, and Logan knew talking about how it felt wouldn't change the way things were anyway.

He loved Jack, and he was happy- and it was becoming clear that if he wanted to stay happy, he needed to get over the fact that he would always be in his husband's shadow.

Quietly, he stripped back out of his robe, hoping Jack would change the subject.

"Quit comparing yourself to me, Logan. I'm not some kind of standard. I'm just a guy," Jack insisted, catching Logan's face in both hands.

"I want you. You're all I want. All the flaws you see...I want that. When you're an asshole or awkward or whatever...I want that. Whatever you think your flaws are? I love you in spite of them. Hell, I love you because of some of them. I wish other people saw what I saw. Except I don't. I like that I have parts of you no one will ever know. I like that you're mine. And I'm yours."

He paused.

"And, just so you know, I'm jealous a lot more than you think."

Logan didn't believe it, but he didn't argue. Instead he leaned into the touch and held on tighter as he sank back down onto the bed.

He felt heavy and depressed, and it only felt warm where Jack was touching him, the rest of his body like ice, despite what they'd been doing before.

He seemed eager to continue playing, but his confidence was drained, and he looked unsure as he ducked his head and kissed Jack's neck. Part of him wanted nothing more than to beg the other man to take him over his knee. To make it hurt in a way he could understand- but he was too fragile to even suggest it. His ego already bruised enough that asking for it would likely break him down again.

So instead he pushed Jack back, catching the other man by the arms and holding him down as he forced himself to bury everything he was feeling.

His attempt at exerting control was half-assed at best. Jack lifted his head to kiss the younger man, deceptively sweetly, then he pushed off and rolled them so Logan was the one on his back.

"Uh uh," he said with a shake of his head. I wasn't done with you. I had plans for that ass of yours."

He reached down and slid his hand underneath, groping Logan's cheek roughly. Although the little outburst of real emotion had all but killed his hard on, close like this and forcing Logan down did wonders to bring him back to life.

"Hitch your leg up," he said, pulling to get Logan to comply.

Protesting weakly, Logan let the other man bend him into place, gasping a little and meeting Jack's eyes with his own.

They'd resolved nothing, and Logan still ached in a way he couldn't explain- But this was so much easier than talking. For all he'd tried to assert himself, he had no doubt that he was better off letting Jack take control first. He trusted Jack to take care of things- to bend him until he snapped back to the way he was supposed to be.

Jack could erase all the pain and all the doubt- he could make Logan beg or scream... And when he was finished, Logan would be whole again and ready to really show the other man what he could do.

Because fixing him was something Jack did better than anyone. No one else even came close to getting what the younger man needed when he started to fall apart.

He gasped when his cock slipped easily between Logan's cheeks and he rocked into it, dragging slowly against the still-slick skin. His fingers dug in hard, his blunt nails leaving little crescent weals where they bit into Logan's skin.

"Can you tell how much I want you?" he asked, then ducked his chin to catch the man's nipple between his teeth and worry it to a taut peak.

"You want other people to want you like I do? Want someone else to hold you down...call you beautiful...say you're theirs? I don't think so. You need me. You got me, and I'm never letting you go," Jack growled possessively. Just the idea of someone taking Logan away from him fueled a consuming jealousy that he wasn't used to letting out. When Jack said things like always or never he meant them. He meant them more than Logan or anyone could understand.

"I see how people look at you. How Neil wants to be friends. How Helen wants you in her bed. I'm not blind. You might not see it, but I do. I do because I'm always watching. Alcuin was ready to leave with you. You. Not us, not me. Just you. You could have had him. Do you want that? Someone else?" It was more of an interrogation than an innocent question. The more he thought about it, the more worked up he got until he was all blunt force and sharp teeth against Logan's skin.

"No," Logan cried out, his voice rough with a sharp edge to it. "I don't want them. I don't want anyone but you, I swear. I promise," he panted, Jack's voice ripping through him in a way no one elses could.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I know you didn't, baby," Jack purred roughly, lifting up so he could look into Logan's eyes. His were dark, hard and stormy, and his gaze was heavy.

"I know what you meant. I know what you want. If I could give it to you, I would...but I can't. And I kind of don't want to," he said, drawing his hips back and guiding his cock so he could slide into the mans willing body. He went slow, making sure Logan felt every inch as Jack claimed him.

He moaned as Jack filled him, his breath hitching as he held on tightly.

"Jack, please," he whispered, knowing he didn't have to explain anything to the other man, that Jack would feel it and just know what he needed. That's just how it was with Jack. He felt connected to the other man.

"You know I'll only ever want you."

"Hold on," was all he said, sinking deep and then shifting to hoist Logan's leg over his shoulder. With access, he brought his hand down against the man's thigh with a sharp crack, pulling out almost all the way as Logan's body tightened around him.

He set a steady pace, sharp thrusts driving deep into Logan and a matching rhythm with his smacks. He hit hard, not bothering to smooth the pain away. It wasn't long before he could feel welts rise from the imprints of his fingers. His hands burned and went numb.

"Mine," he growled, fucking Logan savagely. "Say it again."

He'd been holding back, the only sign that he was in any pain, the deep marks and bruises his fingers were leaving on Jack's arms. It was too much though, and he let out a pained sob of a sound as he choked on the words Jack wanted to hear.

Blunt fingers became sharp nails, and he left scratches on Jack's arms as he clawed at the other man.

"Yours," he gasped. "I'm yours. I'm yours, fuck, please... Jack. I love you."

The pain was rewarded with more force, though the spanking eased of with a simple brush if fingers. He wedged his hand between them and wrapped his palm around Logan's cock, pulling him off at an eager pace.

"Do it," he ordered. "Hurt me. Mark me. So you know I'm yours, too. Come on me, you filthy little shit. I want to make you lose it."

The headboard was rocking so hard that Logan was sure the bed would break- yet he couldn't really bring himself to care.

He felt hot and wired, and he bucked back into Jack's thrusts with a moan as he used all his strength to roll them over. The bed creaked loudly in protest, the mattress sagging a little as one of the boards holding it up gave way. Not that it mattered when they were both dangling off the edge of the bed already.

"I'm not done," Logan growled, riding Jack's cock hard and grabbing the other man's wrist in a vice like grip.

Jack struggled against Logan's grip, testing to see how set the other man was on this twist. When it was clear he wasn't getting up without a real fight- something he wasn't sure the bed would handle- he arched and thrust but didn't try to get free.

"God, yes," he hissed, his eyes rolling back and fluttering closed. The skin of his arms burned where the scratches began to welt. Bringing his knees up, he dug his heels into the bed in a vain attempt to keep from tumbling to the floor.

"Lo- shit, Logan," Jack gasped, willingly taking everything Logan dished out.

"Knew you liked it better like this," Logan growled, lifting and falling back onto Jack's cock over and over as he raked his nails down the other man's chest.

"I'm gonna come on you- tell me you want that," he panted, lifting one hand and smacking Jack's cheek hard enough to sting.

"Say it. I want you to say it," he panted. "Say that your mine. That you don't care about all those other people who want you. Say it, Jack," he demanded.

"I'm yours," he groaned, reaching to hold Logan's hips. "I want you all over me. Inside me. Come on me. Fuck me. Ride me. Shit, Logan...I don't care about anyone else. No one. I'm all yours. Everything...it's all yours."

His breath hitched and he choked, his whole body jerking as the tension built too fast, to strong to hold back. He came without warning, spilling inside Logan with a nearly pained keening. But he didn't stop. As long as Logan was riding him, he did his best to keep pace.

Hand wrapped firmly around his cock, Logan jerked off fast, still fucking himself on Jack's cock, even after the other man was spent.

"Jack- Fuck, captain," Logan panted, crying out as he spilled across the other man's stomach.

He was still sore from where Jack had smacked him, and it was burning more and more as time passed. Slowly, he moved to lay near the other man, panicking a little when the bed sagged even more.

"Shit," he swore, clutching at Jack when he was sure the bed was about to give way.

Jack was too sated to think. He wrapped an arm around Logan, the other moving to his stomach to rub Logan's seed into his skin. There was mention of a shower earlier, so he didn't care if he was sticky for a little while. The heat and slip of it felt good compared to the stinging pain where Logan had torn at him.

The bed lurched and Jack hung on tighter, exhaling a soft laugh. His head was buzzing and he didn't want to move...even if it meant breaking the furniture even more. There wasn't anything he couldn't fix, after all.

"I love you so damned much," he said, pressing a kiss against Logan's damp locks. "You make me crazy, and I love you."

Logan laughed, grinning a little as he squirmed closer and held on, wrapping his arms tightly around the other man.

"Love you too," he whispered. "I don't mean to make you crazy. I love you."

"You might not mean to...but you do it. Or other people do it. I'm sorry I get so jealous. It's...it's stupid. I know it is," Jack admitted quietly. "I just really don't know what I'd do if someone came along and took you. Or if you got tired of me and, I don't know, if you got sick of this mess. We've talked about this before, but I can't quit worrying about it."

"You think I don't worry about the same thing?" Logan asked. "Jack, I worry every time you smile at someone. Every time you talk to House or flirt with the newest arrival... I know you could do better than me, and I don't know what I'll do when you finally work out that I'm- no where near good enough."

Jack turned his head slowly to look at Logan. His eyes stung and they glistened in the low light.

"You're a better man than I deserve," he said with such gravity that it nearly choked him. "I think that since I've been with you, I've become a better person. I need so much, and you give me everything and more. You never hold back with me, and you don't let me run away from...anything. I can be selfish. I can be quiet. I can be anything and I know you aren't scared of me or repulsed by my past- or my future. You live now, and that's all that matters. I've always had to be so strong, Logan. You make it okay to let go sometimes. Do you get what that means to me? To have someone I trust to be here while I figure out what kind of guy I am?"

It wasn't like Jack to be so open and honest, and Logan didn't take it lightly.

Holding on tighter, he kissed Jack's cheek and stroked his hair. "And I'll still be here even after you've worked it out. No matter what you become- I'm not leaving. I love you, all of you, all sides. That's never gonna change, Jack. Ever. I swear on my life."

"I know that," he said as he brushed his lips against Logan's face.

"And no matter what, when you'r strong, Ill love you. When you're fragile, I'll love you. Nothing you can do is ever going to drive me away. Even if you can't be secure in the knowledge of anything else- and let's face it...it can be hard to feel secure on this island about anything- I. Will. Be. Here."