Home is where the heart is. (for Neil)

[echolls_cursed]

A lot of walking and one half-assed fight had brought Logan back to the hut. For some reason, he expected it to look different. Abandoned maybe. But no, it looked the same as it had the morning he'd left it. Yappy dog and all.

Max was jumping around in his pen, barking like a lunatic, and Logan hissed at him a bit as he reached the door. "Shut up!" he snapped quietly. "Jesus Christ, fucking dog."

Of course that didn't stop him from leaning over and giving the small animal a scratch between it's ears.

He thought about knocking first... but it was his hut too, and he wasn't going to act like a stranger. Yanking open the door he headed right inside, trying to ignore his nerves as he slipped into what used to be their room. His eyes settled on Neil instantly, half asleep and buried under a blanket... Logan had to stop himself from walking right over and asking the other boy if he was okay.

Instead he just stood there, like an idiot.

Comments

[little_moons]

"Jesus, Logan," I sigh, shuffling around to face him, "You fucked up, okay? We both fucked up, but you weren't doing me some big favor by running off. I want you. Why else do you think I went through all that other shit?" I ask, gesturing down at the necklace and lighter. Seriously, do I look like the marrying type to him?

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I don't know," Logan shrugged, putting down the necklace. "I don't even know why I did it. I mean I know, but nor in a way I can explan or justify. I don't even know why I wanted to get married in the first place anymore. I just know I missed you when you weren't around."

[little_moons]

I nod, drawing my legs up to my chest and facing him but not looking at him, staring off into space because at least then I can keep from... I don't know, keep from yelling or crying or freaking out at him. I've already done that enough of that sort of thing in the last couple of days. "I just... I wanted to go home for the first time in a really long fucking time. This place sorta sucks without you," I admit quietly.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"You'd have gotten over it," Logan insisted. "You'd have... This thing we have, it's great, you know? But I'm a jackass, and I don't think that's going to change anytime soon. Maybe you shouldn't let me back, you know? Maybe you'd be better off in the long run if you told me to piss off."

[little_moons]

"Don't fucking do that, Logan. If you don't want this then fucking say it, but don't try and act like you're doing it for my own good. I'm not a fucking kid. I know just how much of an asshole you are, and I know it's a risk. Everything's a risk. I don't know shit about dating or whatever the fuck you want to call it, but I know that much," I tell him, frustration creeping into my voice.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I do want this, I just want you to think about it!" Logan snapped. "If I didn't want it, I wouldn't be here. You think I give a damn if half the island hates me for leaving you, or that I'd come here if I wasn't getting something out of it? I want to be here and I want you."

[little_moons]

"I have thought about it! That's all I've thought about for fucking days, Logan. Do you think I would've let you back in here if I didn't want you? I'd have kicked you out on your fucking ass," I point out, practically yelling.

The dog yips out a bark and I turn to him and snap, "Shut the fuck up, Max!" I didn't know it was really possible for a puppy to look annoyed, but he pulls it off as he flops back down on his blankets.

"What do you think I should have, Logan? You think you know what I need better than I do? You don't. I'm fucked up, but I know what I want, okay?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Alright!" Logan shouted back. "I'm sorry, alright? Do whatever you want, I'm not stopping you. I'm just making sure you know you have a choice. 'Cause let's face it Neil, you don't always realize that. Most of the time you just do whatever the hell people tell you to."

[little_moons]

"Oh, fuck you!" I shout, scrambling off the bed and moving to stand in the middle of the room. "You think I'm just with you because you tell me to be? What the fuck is the matter with you?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan slumped back against the wall and groaned. "That's not what I meant," he sighed, looking tired. "I just meant that... I dunno. I just thought it needed to be out there."

[little_moons]

Huffing out an exasperated sigh, I just look at him for a while, my hands dangling at my sides and me standing here looking drained. I can't believe it's only been four days. It feels like I haven't slept or relaxed in weeks.

"I know that I have a choice, Logan," I tell him calmly, or as calmly as I can manage. "I know that I should probably kick you out on your ass, but I don't want to. We fucked up, trying to get fucking married, anyway. And I know I'd get over it, I'd learn to fucking survive or whatever the hell without you, but I don't want to, okay?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan nodded a bit, tilting his head back so he could look up at Neil.

"You want your necklace?" he asked, as if they hadn't just been shouting at one another. As if he hadn't vanished for four days. As if somehow that would make things better.

[little_moons]

I think I probably give him a pretty comical look of confusion. Maybe I'm not even shocked anymore, the weird ass shit that comes out of his mouth sometimes.

"Why?" I ask, because I want to know what he think's it'll mean now. Does he think it'll mean anything or is he just trying to shut me up? Like a fucking bamboo necklace will do that. I'm not a fucking girl.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Because I made it for you," Logan replied simply, pulling a face of his own. A face that said something like 'Why else?' or, more likely, 'duh'.

[little_moons]

"You made it for the wedding," I point out, returning his look. I'm not even really arguing, I just don't understand why he's even asking me. Like it matters now. Whatever.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Whatever," Logan scowled dropping it onto the bed. "I just thought you might still want it. there doesn't have to be a damn wedding for you to wear a necklace."

[little_moons]

"I know that," I insist, sighing as I move to kneel on the bed, shuffling across the mattress until I'm sitting next to him. I pick the necklace up from where he dropped it, just a little piece of leather cord and handmade wooden beads... the necklace he and I sat there on the rec room floor making less than a week ago. "Yeah, I want it," I say, reaching up to try and tie it around my own neck.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan watched, reaching out and brushing his fingers over the beads once Neil had it on. "It looks good on you," he told the other boy quietly.

[little_moons]

Reaching up to touch the beads, I tilt my chin down to try and see them, but the necklace sits just at the hollow of my throat and my eyes won't tilt down that way. So, I pick up the other discarded strand of beads and hold it out to him with a shrug. Only seems fair, right?

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan took the necklace, looking it over for a moment before slipping it around his neck and knotting it loosely at the back.

[little_moons]

"You don't have to wear it if you don't want to. I just thought you might," I shrug, scooting over on the bed to lean against the wall next to him. And I mean it. I feel stupid enough making such a big deal about rings or whatever before, when we were planning that whole fucking disaster.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I know. I want to though," Logan shrugged, looking over at Neil. "I left all my stuff at Veronica's. I'll have to go get it at some point, before she decides she hates my gun enough to throw it in the ocean."

[little_moons]

I bite back the automatic 'You were staying with Veronica?' that pops into my head. Christ, I'll bet he had fun.

Instead I just shrug, reaching out to run my fingers over his necklace and then letting my hand fall away. "You've still got clothes here. You left your stupid train pajamas," I say, my mouth curving into the closest thing to amusement I've shown all day.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Shut up, they're warm," Logan snorted. "But yeah, whatever, she won't notice that I'm not there. Haven't really been there at all. Just sort of dumped my stuff in the corner."

[little_moons]

I nod, because I figure he just sort of wandered around the island the last few days, just like I did that week we were... whatever we were, and I left with my one stupid backpack and didn't know where the fuck to go.

"Last I talked to Joe he didn't know where the fuck you were. He figured you weren't still in the jungle... But that was a couple of days ago, I guess."