Home is where the heart is. (for Neil)

[echolls_cursed]

A lot of walking and one half-assed fight had brought Logan back to the hut. For some reason, he expected it to look different. Abandoned maybe. But no, it looked the same as it had the morning he'd left it. Yappy dog and all.

Max was jumping around in his pen, barking like a lunatic, and Logan hissed at him a bit as he reached the door. "Shut up!" he snapped quietly. "Jesus Christ, fucking dog."

Of course that didn't stop him from leaning over and giving the small animal a scratch between it's ears.

He thought about knocking first... but it was his hut too, and he wasn't going to act like a stranger. Yanking open the door he headed right inside, trying to ignore his nerves as he slipped into what used to be their room. His eyes settled on Neil instantly, half asleep and buried under a blanket... Logan had to stop himself from walking right over and asking the other boy if he was okay.

Instead he just stood there, like an idiot.

Comments

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I couldn't. Neil I didn't... I didn't know I was gonna leave until I was standing there. With Joe fixing my tie and... just everything was going so fast. There wasn't time. I just had to go. All I could think about was how shitty it was all going to be... I had to leave. I couldn't do that to us," Logan tried to ezplain.

[little_moons]

"You could've come and told me yourself," I insist, sadness creeping up on my previously blank face, "You didn't have to fucking run off to fuck knows where, and leave Joe to tell me you'd fucking disappeared."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry, alright? I know I fucked up. I know I could have... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Neil. I didn't mean to hurt you, not like this," Logan said quietly.

[little_moons]

"Yeah well, I just wish I'd know beforehand how easy it was for you to just fucking... throw everything away," I grumble quietly. Childishly. I don't fucking care.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Not caring that he hadn't been invited, Logan walked over and sat down beside the other other boy, wincing a little. "It wasn't easy," he replied. "I wanted it to be, I wanted to think I could just sit back and watch you move on. Be happy for you, That maybe I could say it was for the best... But I can't, Neil. I don't even know what to do without you around now. I can't even just go back to the way I was."

[little_moons]

"How the fuck was I supposed to move on when I didn't even know what happened?" I ask, shrinking in on myself, trying to pull away from him without actually moving. So yeah, I ignore the rest of what he says. Because I can't fucking believe a word of it, honestly...

Or maybe I just have to make myself not listen. He can't fix it that easy.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Look, I'm not saying it was the best thought out idea ever, alright?" Logan sighed, looking over at the other boy.

[little_moons]

All I can do is bark out a hollow laugh, turning my face away, my whole body away. I don't even know what to say to him. Besides the obvious 'you ripped my fucking heart out and left me with nothing, asshole' but that sounds too fucking dramatic, even in my head.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Fine, whatever, don't believe me," Logan muttered, though he didn't leave. Hell, he didn't even move.

[little_moons]

"Don't pull that shit with me, Logan," I snap, practically scrambling to my feet, "Don't act like I'm just supposed to fucking believe every goddamn word you say. Like I'm just supposed to forgive you when..." I trail off, staring down at him angrily. Searchingly.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"When I left? When I fucked up? Yeah I expect you to forgive me," Logan snapped back. "Cause that's what people do when they give a shit about each other. they fuck up and then they fix it. And I'm not expecting it to all be worked out today, but you could... Fuck I don't know. How the hell am I supposed to know?"

[little_moons]

Sighing in defeat, I pace a few steps and slump down on the end of the bed, sitting there with my arms folded over my chest and probably looking like hell. I've looked like hell for four goddamn days. It isn't even that long. Seemed like forever.

"I should've... I don't know, I should've known better. Things were fucked all month. I should've just called it off myself... It was fucking stupid."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"This isn't your fault," Logan said with a sigh, hesitating and then following Neil. He made a grunting sound as he got to his feet, and sat down on the bed, making sure to give Neil some space.

"I just want to come home," he admitted quietly. "I just want to be back here, with you."

[little_moons]

Sighing shakily, I hide my face in my hands and think of all the reasons that it's a bad idea. I don't know if I can keep doing this. It's too fucking hard.

Dropping my hands to my lap, I look over at him sitting there... He looks almost as bad as me, maybe the same, but I still insist I've gotten the worse end of the deal this time. I'm the one that got left.

"What happened to you?" I ask hollowly, noticing how he's been moving, the pained grunts and the strained way he's sitting.

I don't ignore what he said, I just don't know how to answer. Do I want him home? Yeah, I do, but I know it's not that easy. Things are fucked, and something's gotta be fixed. I just don't know what the fuck to do about it.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Fight," Logan said simply, because that was pretty accurate. Half hearted though his efforts might have been, it was still a fight.

He stopped looking at Neil though, trying to ignore the worry he felt when the other boy didn't say anything about coming home. He wasn't going to push it though.

[little_moons]

"What did you even- Nevermind. I don't even want to know," I mumble, rubbing my hands over my face and letting out another tired sigh. Fuck it. Nothing even happened. Not really. Jack wants to be a fucking asshole about it, fine. I guess he's got a right to be pissed, me pussying out the way I did. But I don't give a fuck about him.

"This is your place more than it is mine. You wanna come back, it's not like I can stop you." Bullshit. It's a fucking lie, acting like I don't care. Maybe that's not helpin' things, but I'm still to... raw about it to say anything else.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"If I come back, are you going to stay?" Logan asked, looking at Neil. "I don't want to come back if your just going to fuck off and leave me here.

[little_moons]

The dog is barking outside, yipping and howling miserably, and I can hear him scratching on the sides of his little box. Getting to my feet, no intention of leaving, but I need to bring him inside before someone calls Island Animal Control or whatever the fuck. I push the door beads out of the way, mumbling over my shoulder, "I don't think you can really say anything to me about leaving," but it's half-assed at best, almost petulant sounding.

Max is hopping around excitedly when I step outside, and I lift him up from his pen, squishing up my face and hold him at arms length when he tries to lick at me. I step back inside the hut, letting Max run inside as I linger around the doorway of our room.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

The dog ran right over, half nearly tripping over itself in excitement as it scrambled up onto the bed. Despite the fact that everything hurt, Logan flopped onto his back, letting the small animal lick his face. Little paws bouncing and scrambling to get closer.

"Your dog's a freak," Logan said simply, pulling a face at the sudden wiff of dog breath and turning his head away.

[little_moons]

I just shrug, walking over to stand at the edge of the bed, petting Max absently when he scrambles over to me. "You look like hell," I point out, uselessly, but he does. Not just pained because of whatever the fuck that fight was, just... worn. But like I said, I can't look much better.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"So do you," Logan pointed out, turning his head just enough to look at Neil.

[little_moons]

"Yeah," I agree quietly, sitting down on the edge of the bed and dropping my hand to the mattress when Max wanders away to check Logan out again.

"What happened?" I ask after a long pause, voice sounding strained and annoyingly small. I'm looking for more of an answer then 'it was going to fast'. Something honest. I don't know if I'll get anything, or even if I want to hear it. Just... whatever. Might as well ask.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I dunno. I panicked I guess. I started thinking about how young we are and how stupid I am. I was thinking about my parents and my dad and the shit I could do... shit I've already done. It just got to me," Logan said quietly.

[little_moons]

"You should've just told me," I say again, too quiet to really sound angry, reaching up to brush my knuckle against his cheek and then drawing my hand away.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I kind of figured that out," Logan snorted, reaching out to grab Neil's hand lightly as he pulled away.