Home is where the heart is. (for Neil)

[echolls_cursed]

A lot of walking and one half-assed fight had brought Logan back to the hut. For some reason, he expected it to look different. Abandoned maybe. But no, it looked the same as it had the morning he'd left it. Yappy dog and all.

Max was jumping around in his pen, barking like a lunatic, and Logan hissed at him a bit as he reached the door. "Shut up!" he snapped quietly. "Jesus Christ, fucking dog."

Of course that didn't stop him from leaning over and giving the small animal a scratch between it's ears.

He thought about knocking first... but it was his hut too, and he wasn't going to act like a stranger. Yanking open the door he headed right inside, trying to ignore his nerves as he slipped into what used to be their room. His eyes settled on Neil instantly, half asleep and buried under a blanket... Logan had to stop himself from walking right over and asking the other boy if he was okay.

Instead he just stood there, like an idiot.

Comments

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I came here to make sure you were..." Logan trailed off and folded his arms over his chest. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

[little_moons]

"What the fuck do you care?" I demand, turning around to face him and then wishing I hadn't. Something in my chest clinches painfully, overwhelmingly, and it's like I can't breathe all over again. Well, fuck him.

What the fuck is he trying to pull, disappearing and then coming back for this?

I want to ask what Jack said- how Logan found out. I figured Jack'd be safe, no one'd ever have to know what a fuck up I am. He sorta promised that, didn't he? Fucking bastard.

...He wanted to see if I was alright? How fucking stupid does he think I am?

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Look, I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry about the wedding and I'm sorry for leaving, okay? You just gotta trust me when I say I had my reasons. And I care because I love you, you moron. I'm here 'cause some guy was spitting out what an easy lay you were and trying to start a fight. For all I knew you could have been bleeding to death in here!" Logan shot back, starting off quietly and finishing with a shout.

[little_moons]

"Oh, fuck you!" I yell again, "You can't fucking do that! You can't just disappear and then burst in here acting like you give a shit!"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I'm not acting like I give a shit, I do give a shit! Jesus Christ, Neil, I was worried about you, alright?" Logan yelled back.

[little_moons]

"You were worried about me?" I ask, looking like I'm right on the edge of manic laughter. Is he out of his fucking mind? "It's too fucking late now, Logan!"

"I fucking stood up there and waited for you, you fucking asshole, in front of everyone! I... fuck!" I shout, dashing my hands through my hair and turning away from him, shoulders hunching and my chest heaving as I scramble to keep myself together.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan didn't know what to say to that, so he simply kept his mouth shut. He made no move to leave though.

[little_moons]

There's just silence. Nothing but my harsh breathing for a few minutes, and then I turn back to look at him, my palms held out at my sides. Helpless. Fucking great. Guess I should get used to the feelin'.

"So, what? That's it? You got nothing?" I ask, like having answers will suddenly make things any better. I know they won't.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Not unless you want me to repeat myself," Logan shrugged weakly. "I told you why I was here, I said I was sorry. I mean, you want more then that, you're gonna have to give me something to answer."

[little_moons]

Right... That's why he's here. Some fucking misguided attempt at being noble or whatever. He never even intended to come back to, I don't know, offer some sort of fucking explanation why I thought I was getting fucking married, for fuck's sake, but instead I ended up alone.

Shaking my head and turning my face away, I lean back against the nearest wall, letting myself slide to the ground to sit heavily on the floor. Fucking pathetic. I don't even know where to start.

"You could've told me," I mumble hoarsely, wrapping my arms around my knees and looking up at him blankly.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I couldn't. Neil I didn't... I didn't know I was gonna leave until I was standing there. With Joe fixing my tie and... just everything was going so fast. There wasn't time. I just had to go. All I could think about was how shitty it was all going to be... I had to leave. I couldn't do that to us," Logan tried to ezplain.

[little_moons]

"You could've come and told me yourself," I insist, sadness creeping up on my previously blank face, "You didn't have to fucking run off to fuck knows where, and leave Joe to tell me you'd fucking disappeared."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry, alright? I know I fucked up. I know I could have... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Neil. I didn't mean to hurt you, not like this," Logan said quietly.

[little_moons]

"Yeah well, I just wish I'd know beforehand how easy it was for you to just fucking... throw everything away," I grumble quietly. Childishly. I don't fucking care.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Not caring that he hadn't been invited, Logan walked over and sat down beside the other other boy, wincing a little. "It wasn't easy," he replied. "I wanted it to be, I wanted to think I could just sit back and watch you move on. Be happy for you, That maybe I could say it was for the best... But I can't, Neil. I don't even know what to do without you around now. I can't even just go back to the way I was."

[little_moons]

"How the fuck was I supposed to move on when I didn't even know what happened?" I ask, shrinking in on myself, trying to pull away from him without actually moving. So yeah, I ignore the rest of what he says. Because I can't fucking believe a word of it, honestly...

Or maybe I just have to make myself not listen. He can't fix it that easy.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Look, I'm not saying it was the best thought out idea ever, alright?" Logan sighed, looking over at the other boy.

[little_moons]

All I can do is bark out a hollow laugh, turning my face away, my whole body away. I don't even know what to say to him. Besides the obvious 'you ripped my fucking heart out and left me with nothing, asshole' but that sounds too fucking dramatic, even in my head.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Fine, whatever, don't believe me," Logan muttered, though he didn't leave. Hell, he didn't even move.

[little_moons]

"Don't pull that shit with me, Logan," I snap, practically scrambling to my feet, "Don't act like I'm just supposed to fucking believe every goddamn word you say. Like I'm just supposed to forgive you when..." I trail off, staring down at him angrily. Searchingly.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"When I left? When I fucked up? Yeah I expect you to forgive me," Logan snapped back. "Cause that's what people do when they give a shit about each other. they fuck up and then they fix it. And I'm not expecting it to all be worked out today, but you could... Fuck I don't know. How the hell am I supposed to know?"

[little_moons]

Sighing in defeat, I pace a few steps and slump down on the end of the bed, sitting there with my arms folded over my chest and probably looking like hell. I've looked like hell for four goddamn days. It isn't even that long. Seemed like forever.

"I should've... I don't know, I should've known better. Things were fucked all month. I should've just called it off myself... It was fucking stupid."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"This isn't your fault," Logan said with a sigh, hesitating and then following Neil. He made a grunting sound as he got to his feet, and sat down on the bed, making sure to give Neil some space.

"I just want to come home," he admitted quietly. "I just want to be back here, with you."

[little_moons]

Sighing shakily, I hide my face in my hands and think of all the reasons that it's a bad idea. I don't know if I can keep doing this. It's too fucking hard.

Dropping my hands to my lap, I look over at him sitting there... He looks almost as bad as me, maybe the same, but I still insist I've gotten the worse end of the deal this time. I'm the one that got left.

"What happened to you?" I ask hollowly, noticing how he's been moving, the pained grunts and the strained way he's sitting.

I don't ignore what he said, I just don't know how to answer. Do I want him home? Yeah, I do, but I know it's not that easy. Things are fucked, and something's gotta be fixed. I just don't know what the fuck to do about it.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Fight," Logan said simply, because that was pretty accurate. Half hearted though his efforts might have been, it was still a fight.

He stopped looking at Neil though, trying to ignore the worry he felt when the other boy didn't say anything about coming home. He wasn't going to push it though.