echolls_cursed | Logan and Joe before the wedding.

Current Mood: confused

Entry tags:

Logan and Joe before the wedding. - January 13th

Logan wasn’t sure where Neil was off getting ready, but he was back at the hut pulling on the suit the clothes box had offered up at the last minute. It was all black besides the crisp white button down shirt which Logan was now buttoning up, an uneasy look on his face as he looked at the wall rather then Joe.

Joe had been with him most of the morning, and Logan was feeling a little paranoid, convinced that Joe could somehow tell what he was thinking and feeling. And really, that was something he didn’t want anyone to know.

He was petrified, full of doubt and regret as he swallowed hard and straightened his collar. What the hell was he doing? Getting married, why had that seemed like a good idea at all? He was nineteen, they both were. They were way too young and fucked up to be settling down for good.

He picked up the black tie and draped it around his neck before going still and glancing at Joe.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Scared, yeah..." Logan agreed quietly.

In his head though, he was already planning his escape. He'd get rid of Joe somehow, maybe ask the older man to go to the compound for something, that way Joe wouldn't have to be a part of it... that way Joe wouldn't end up being the bad guy too. And once Joe was gone... Logan would split. He'd head into the jungle and hide out or something.

Joe glanced over at Logan, watching him carefully as he thought about the coming day and what was going to happen, what would change. He wanted to lie to himself and say that nothing was going to change, but things would have to change. Logan was getting married.

"It'll be okay, man," he said after a moment.

"Yeah, it'll be okay, I guess... I just have a feeling- I mean, I know that things are going to change after today," Logan replied honestly.

"Everything is about to change Joe, and I'm not sure it's all for the best."

"No?" Joe asked, still looking at Logan. That didn't sound good. That really didn't sound good and he was starting to worry. "You don't want to do this?"

"I didn't say that," Logan said quickly, looking at Joe. "I want to do this, I do."

I just know that I can't. I know I'm going to hurt him worse if I do, because I don't know what I want and I know I'm gonna end up just like him.

"Logan," Joe said quietly, but he stopped there because he didn't know what else to say. There was this underlying tension, this feeling that something wasn't right. He didn't think weddings were supposed to feel this way.

"I'm fine, Joe," Logan lied, the forced smile easier now. "Everything will be okay in the end."

And that he really did believe... at least for everyone else. Sure, Neil would be upset for a while, but eventually he'd find someone better... someone who deserved him. And Logan? We;;, Logan was pretty sure he'd find a way to disappear. And yeah, alright, he knew by now that it would upset Joe, but Joe had Billy, so it wasn't like he'd be alone.

See? Everything would be just fine.

Joe studied him skeptically, hoping Logan knew that he'd gotten to a point where he could tell when Logan was lying. Mostly, though, Joe just figured he was nervous about the whole thing. It was fucking scary, so he could understand that.

"You really think so?" he asked.

"I know so," Logan said simply, toying with his tie a little. "Hey, uh... you wanna head up to the compound for me in a little bit? I mean, I know we have time and all, but uh, I'd kill for a cup of coffee but I don't want to bump into Neil before the wedding. I mean, I don't need it just yet..."

In fact, he kind of wanted to stay with Joe as long as he could, just in case they never spoke again. He wanted to remember Joe just like this.

Joe nodded a bit at that, still leaning his elbows on his knees. "Yeah, just lemme know when you want it," he said with a bit of a shrug. Today wasn't the day to put up a fight over a stupid cup of coffee.

"Thanks... Not just for the coffee, but for, you know, everything. It means a lot to me man," Logan said quietly. "You're a good guy. A better one then me at least," he laughed awkwardly.

Joe snorted in amusement at that, because that was certainly not the type of thing he was used to hearing. He wasn't a better person than anyone.

"Yeah, well, I'd do pretty much anything for you, you stupid cunt. And the problem is that you know it," he said, casting a faint grin over at Logan.

Logan laughed at that and nodded a little. "For now at least," he agreed. "I don't think that'll last forever though. One day you'll get sick of my crap and tell me to piss off."

Joe rolled his eyes and made a vague gesture that was supposed to indicate Billy somehow. "I've done just about anything for Billy since we were twelve, man. I dunno about things changing."

"Sure you do," Logan said quietly, looking at Joe seriously. "Joe, you know all about things changing, I just don't think you like to admit it."

Joe didn't like when things changed and most people knew that, so he gave Logan a dirty look. "Some things do and some things don't," he said simply.

"Whatever," Logan laughed darkly, shaking his head a little. "Everything changes Joe, except your need to live in denial apparently."

Joe just looked over at Logan, not looking particularly impressed, but he didn't say anything. Everything didn't change. He and Billy had never changed.

Logan caught Joe's look and let out a sigh as he flopped onto his back and stared up at the thatched roof. "Don't look at me like that," he said quietly.

"Like what?" he asked, looking away from Logan. He wasn't going to fight over the coffee and he wasn't going to fight over this shit. Logan had other things to worry about.

"Nothing, forget it," Logan sighed again. "Look, Joe, I'm sorry, I dunno why I'm snapping at you or whatever. I'm just tense I guess."

Joe nodded his agreement, then raked his hand through the mohawk, which he'd actually tried to style for the wedding. It ended up looking the same as it always did. "I'd offer to let you hit me to relax, but I dunno if it'd be such a great idea to show up today with a black eye."

Logan was pretty sure that showing up with a black eye would look better then showing up without Logan... but he knew better then to let something like that slip out. Instead he forced another laugh and nodded, doing his best to look happy.

Joe took a deep breath, wondering if there was anything he could say that would make Logan feel better. It didn't seem too likely, but he felt like he was supposed to try anyway.

"Hey, man, everything'll work out how it's supposed to," he offered after a moment.

"Yeah, alright," Logan agreed, turning his head to look at Joe and offering a small smile.

"Look, I'm glad... I'm glad you're here. Today is a big day and I- ...Just, uh, thanks or whatever for putting up with me."

Joe laughed quietly at that, a short snort of amusement before he reached over and squeezed the back of Logan's neck. "Wouldn't miss it, you stupid cunt," he said with a grin.

Logan laughed a bit more lightly at that and nodded. "Yeah, I know."

He went quiet again for a long moment and then sat up straight, a sad look in his eye. "About that coffee though..."

Joe studied Logan for a moment, then nodded and got to his feet. "Yeah, okay. Just because it's your fucking wedding day, man."

"Thanks man," Logan said quietly, silently searching for something that wouldn't give him away or clue Joe in to what he was doing.

"I really... It means a lot to me, that you want to be the one who... you know, at my wedding. It's kinda girlie, but uh... I still never expected it. And I know I don't always do right, but... I dunno, man. You being around, it makes me think that maybe I'm not all bad."

"You're not," Joe said, dropping his hand to Logan's shoulder and squeezing gently. If there was one thing he believed it was that Logan wasn't bad. Everyone fucked up and sometimes some people did it more than others, but Logan tried and that made him a hell of a lot better than Joe thought he understood.

"And you're welcome. Like I said, wouldn't miss it."

Logan covered Joe's hand with his own for a moment and then let go.

"I'm, uh... I'm glad. I'll see you later Joe," he said awkwardly, trying not to look guilty as he looked away, silently wondering if he should pack a bag or something. Maybe he'd take Neil's backpack, let Neil stay in the hut or whatever.

Joe nodded, then squeezed Logan's shoulder once more before he headed toward the door. See you later sounded sort of final for someone who was just running up to the Compound to get some coffee, but if Joe thought anything of it, he didn't let on.

Watching Joe leave, Logan waited a few minutes before grabbing Neil's bag from the floor. He moved to dump Neil's things on the floor, and then decided against it, instead choosing to use one of the towels that littered their floor to bundle up some of his clothes in.

He didn't grab much, just the shirt and shorts he'd arrived in and a pair of jeans, wrapping them up and tucking them under his arm as he ducked out their room and out of the hut.

Unsure of where he was going, Logan headed towards the jungle.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Logan and Joe before the wedding. - January 13th

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject